June 14, 2025. Supreme Leader of the United State of ‘Merica Donald Trump tricked hundreds of people into attending his birthday party by throwing himself a military parade.
Five days before refusing to recognize the federal holiday Juneteenth because “there are too many federal holidays” that cost America millions, Chairman and General Secretary Trump spent $45 million of the country’s money on cake, pinatas, and a giant Pin the Periscope on the Panzer game. Twenty eight tanks also appeared thus confirming a recent scientific study that suggests men whose masculinity is threatened are more likely to compensate through an attraction to weapons. Tens of hundreds of people were in attendance because they were told they had to be.
Pretty much everywhere else in the country, approximately 5 million Americans gathered in their hometowns and cities to protest King Trump, in what has been called “the single largest protest in American history.” Undeterred by these nationwide protests, Chancellor Trump said his “birthday party, er, my Army party, um, my huge Army parade was a tremendous success. It was supposed to rain. They [the National Weather Service] gave it a 100 percent chance of rain, and it didn’t rain at all.”
In related news, earlier this year Emperor Trump ordered the elimination of nearly 600 positions at the National Weather Service.
Donald Trump Has A Small Penis? 
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